What Haunts Me Most
by onlyonekamui
Summary: Broken and battered, the boys must face their greatest enemy in their dreams but what happens when that enemy is themselves?.... It's gonna be a long night....chapter five is finally up...took me long enough no? R&R please and forgive me!
1. Default Chapter

Chapter One  
  
-What Haunts Me Most-  
  
The rain came down in showers upon them. Their only defense was the rocks in which they hid behind. It had been days since  
  
they had abandoned there suits and slowly, one by one, had taken out the men that stalked them. These last four had proven  
  
a challenge. Duo wiped his wet, matted bangs from his eyes and reloaded. The ground beneath him was muddy and hard to  
  
stand on, making it even harder to cover his comrades as they reloaded their own weapons.  
  
Heero came down beside him, taking his que to go up inevitable. Taking a deep breathe and as quickly as he could, the God   
  
of Death rose to his feet and began to fire. He was soon joined by Trowa, who also fired into the darkness of the night. Quatre  
  
soon followed, leveling out and firing with his good arm. All shook from the cold breeze that blew. A click from his gun informed  
  
Duo he was out of bullets once more. Shots ricochet off the rocks in front of him, and sliding in the mud, he took his seat once.  
  
"I'm out...." he spoke exhaustedly.  
  
"Then reload again Maxwell..." Heero hissed as he fired off his last shots.  
  
"No, I mean that's it....no more bullets." He threw the gun to the ground and leaned back against the rocks. "We need to get out  
  
of here. Quatre's hurt and we all need to sleep. I can take out these little fucks, while you guys take the path."  
  
"It's to risky, and I'm not leaving you to get killed by these assholes...." Trowa took his last shot and sat beside him.  
  
"Well it's better then just sitting here and getting shot at!" A bullet shot past them, making them take cover behind near by trees.  
  
"Damn it! They flanked out..."  
  
Then there was silence. The only sound was that of the rain beating through the trees around them. Heero made his way over to Duo  
  
and sat down slowly waving to Wufei to join them. "Do you have a plan or do we split up...it would be harder for them to follow us...."  
  
"We can't...Quatre shouldn't be left alone with his injuries and it seems none of us have a line of defense anymore...." Heero looked over  
  
his options carefully, making Duo even more impatient then normal.  
  
"I told you the plan, why can't you trust me?"  
  
"It's irrational and stupid....just give me a minute to think."  
  
Duo squinted his eyes to look across at Trowa, who seemed to be tending to a beaten Quatre. Both gazes met, Duo sensing the urgency in  
  
the circus boys eyes. It had been quiet for sometime, neither side firing for at least five minutes. He knew what had to be done...Heero just  
  
couldn't see or trust that. Suddenly, his ears perked up....he heard someone moving towards them..and then it stopped. Then came the sound   
  
of metal scraping and a tinkling of something small being dropped. Behind them came a small thump.....  
  
"MOVE!" Quickly, he shoved the two away and followed, but not quick enough. The grenade exploded sending the boys flying in all different  
  
direction. Trees tumbled, dirt flew, the path they had run down not to long before was blocked and impassable. And once again the only sound  
  
was rain coming down upon them. Three young soldiers came jogging to search for their fellow man. They soon did pinned beneath a near  
  
by tree, dead. After taking a moment to grieve, they soon made their way on to find the ones they had been sent to eliminate. Such destruction  
  
the small blast had caused and from where they stood, no sign of anything left of the boys.  
  
"Do you think they got away?," one asked another.  
  
"If they did, they won't last long. That blast took out everything in the area. We can just assume...."  
  
"But sir, these are the Gundam pilots. These boys have been known to come back from the dead! Perhaps it would be wise to stay and search a while longer....."  
  
"No man would have survived that, blessed by any God or not. I for one have the brains to see that nothing is left of them, and wish to get out of this  
  
horrid weather before we become unable to fight. Move out!" With there final command, the three remaining men walked through what was left of  
  
the woods. Their mission had been completed...so they thought.  
  
Near by the woods they had once hidden was a steep hill, which leads to the river. The force from the blow sent the five flying off it and scattered along  
  
it's shore line. Trees, rocks and limbs had fallen with them, covering their mangled bodies. The rain, if possible came down harder then before. They had been defeated, but not killed. Blood mixed with water, attracting the bugs to haunt them. Heero, was the first to open his eyes.  
  
Stiffly, he began to sit up, rubble spilling off his back. His vision was foggy and dark, the limbs he had not long before moved easily, now took more  
  
time to react to his wishes. His emotions were mixed: pain, confusion and newest to him....fear. As his eyes began to focus, he looked around for his fellow comrades. He soon made contact with Wufei, whom himself was coming to. Heero noticed a large gash up his arm most likely from a falling tree   
  
branch. Trying to get up, he found it impossible. His hip had been dislocated in the fall.  
  
"Not again," he hissed through his teeth. Lying on his back, he grabbed firmly behind his knee and jerked his appendage back into place. Shaking it off, he soon found a strong branch to tie onto it and wrapped his coat around. Once sure it was secure, he slowly got to his feet and made his way over to the Shenlong pilot.  
  
"Yuy?....Nothing kills you does it..." Wufei got on his knees and inspected the damage done to his arm.  
  
"I could say the same for you..." he looked up as the rain came down on them. "I took to long to think of a plan and now.... people have been hurt.... where's Maxwell?!"  
  
"From the way you were talking, I thought you had already found him...." Wufei now also showed his concern for the boy that normally tortured him.  
  
Both began to frantically search for the remaining pilots. Wufei headed back the hill to see if they had been pinned beneath the wreckage while Heero made his way up the river bank. As he quickly moved further up, he came upon Trowa, how was sitting up on his own looking out across the river. By his side was Quatre, still knocked out and covered by his close friends jacket. "Your alive....thank goodness."  
  
"How is he?" Heero asked as he approached them. Trowa looked to the smallest and brushed the wet bangs from his pale face.   
  
"Bruised, bloody, feverish...he needs to get somewhere warm and dry soon...have you seen the others?"  
  
"I found Wufei, but we haven't seen Maxwell...." His voice became soft and full of worry. Just then, he heard a cry come from up the hill.  
  
"HEERO! There!" Wufei pointed to the other side of the river, where he could just barely make out the form of a young boy. Splashing across the quick moving water, he gently rolled him over. He was amazed to see the boys amethyst eyes looking back at him in great pain.  
  
"Duo...."  
  
"This...this is why you should...listen to...to me...more..." he tried to laugh, but only coughed up a considerable amount of blood. His injuries were internal and most likely life threatening. It wasn't like Duo to do something half assed. The boy in his arms began to shiver, as he once again took his time to figure out what to do.  
  
"Trowa come help me get him to shore!" Almost instantly, he was by his side and slowly lifting Duo into his arms. Both made their way back across and set him down next to 04. "You need to rest, close your eyes and when you wake, you'll be somewhere safe..." he said trying to comfort the boy, but he only got a disapproving shake of the head.  
  
"I can't....I'm too scared to..."   
  
All of them seemed to be shocked by his response. Duo...afraid of something? It must have been a misunderstanding, or perhaps he was feverish or in shock. It didn't matter right now. They need to get themselves inside and treated soon, or they would not last long. There was nothing near by to stay in...which meant one of them would have to steal a car. The road wasn't that far from their current location, so Wufei headed out leaving the four of them to try and stay as dry and alive as possible.  
  
Trowa and Heero made a make-shift shelter for them while they waited. Duo, who was half with it, shook from the cold and looked at his surroundings while Quatre remained asleep on the cold ground. Trowa, every once and a while would mess with the wet bangs on his best friends face. Heero watched his gentle actions with great awe.  
  
"What is it?", 03 asked noticing that he was being watched.  
  
"Huh?....nothing. You just seem really worried is all. I know Quatre means a lot to you. It's my fault.... I couldn't come up with an escape root fast enough."  
  
"This is no ones fault. We all knew the consequences when we took on this job...and we knew that it wouldn't always be easy. We should just be thankful that we all made it out alive...for now. What about Duo?.....He means a lot to you two...right?"  
  
"He's a comrade in war...that's about it." He turned to the Deathscythe pilot who had finally fallen asleep. He looked hard into his pained expression, and couldn't help but feel sick inside. Why didn't I listen to you, he thought to himself. Trowa watched as he slowly brought his hand up to move the brown blotches of hair from Duo's face when a truck horn beeped. Just down the bank, Wufei climbed out of one of the four seats and helped them move the two boys into the back seat. Trowa sat in the middle to support their heads while Wufei and Heero took the front.  
  
"When I was in town, I found an old warehouse they used to hold Gundam parts in....that should be safe enough to stay in for now. If any trouble comes up, we can have the professors send us money to buy the space. How are they holding up?"  
  
Heero kept his gaze out the window watching as the rain began to slow down almost as if he hadn't heard a word the Shenlong pilot said.  
  
"Duo needs to be treated as soon as possibly as does Quatre....did you get a chance to pick up some supplies?" The two continued to talk as they made their way down the washed over road into the small city setting.  
  
Breaking the glass in the door, the five carried their fallen inside and began to make beds from anything the army and left behind. Luckily, it was quiet the selection of blankets, medical supplies and rations. Quatre was moved upstairs to an empty office where Trowa began the process of removing the bullet from his arm while Heero and Wufei started to clean, sow and bandage Maxwell.  
  
"This is bad...I've never seen him this trashed before...." Wufei murmured as he cleaned the burns on the boy's back.  
  
"..."  
  
"Perhaps you should rest yourself Heero, you don't look well..."  
  
"Neither do you. I'll rest when we are finished. Why don't you go see if they have dry uniforms we can sleep in, I'll finish up here."  
  
"Sure..." Standing, he walked off to search through the bins. Heero continued to wrap Duo's arm and sighed heavily. The same pained expression was on his face from earlier. Shifting, he laid down next to his friend and began to drift to sleep, Duo's arm still in his hand.  
  
Please....you need to be all right....he thought as he finally got some sleep. 


	2. What Haunts Me Most

Chapter Two  
  
-What Haunts Me Most-  
  
Quatre awoke to the sound of his sisters voice calling. He murmured a bit and rolled over. For some reason he was totally whipped out.   
  
But he was in bed and that was all that mattered to him. He also noticed that he felt very small....true compared to the others he was the   
  
smallest but even at that, something didn't feel quit right.  
  
"Quatre Rababa Winner, I am not going to call you down here again!" It soon hit him that this was not his sister's voice, though it sounded  
  
extremely similar. Now, with great wonder, he tossed the sheets aside and made his way downstairs to see what was going on. He walked  
  
down the stairs of his mansion, the one he grew up in as a boy, noticing the railing had been made taller in his absence. Not bothering to   
  
wonder why, he continued till he reached the dinning room. Much to his amazement all of his sisters sat at the breakfast table all waiting for his late   
  
arrival. At the far end of the table sat his father, reading the paper and sipping at his tea. By the doorway, a chair faced away from him and next   
  
to it, his seat, he assumed. Bowing in apology, he went to go sit down, when he was taken aback by who rose from the seat turned from him.  
  
"Quatre, you may be the only boy and you may be the youngest, but don't you dare think for a second that that is going to be any excuse for  
  
you being late to breakfast." There yelling at him, scorning him, giving him that same fed up look he always made when Duo and Heero fought,  
  
was his mother.... Catherine Winner. It couldn't be.... she had died...or so they told him. Tears began to swell up in his eyes as he ran into her   
  
arms weeping.  
  
"I'm.... I'm sorry! I'll never be late again if it means you'll be here every morning to greet me." She smiled warmly and wrapped her arms around him.  
  
"My darling, I am always here for you, you know that...now take your seat so we can eat this meal, hm?" Rubbing the tears from his eyes and stroking  
  
her hand through his golden locks, she took her seat and began to sip her own tea the servants brought her. He took his seat next to Nina, the oldest   
  
of the sisters and smiled as she handed him a platter of toast. This is what he always wanted....his family together. No fights, no wars, no death. Just  
  
all of the Winners together having a calm relaxing breakfast. Life was perfect here.  
  
It was part way through this joyous occasion that he began to here people murmuring. Looking up from his meal he began to look around to see   
  
which of his many sisters was trying to talk. But all of them sat there, eating, not saying a word. Looking back down at his breakfast, he began to eat  
  
again, until once more the voices started. Strangely enough, he seemed to be the only one that was hearing it. Suddenly time froze, everyone stuck in   
  
position, nothing moving. Except for one person Quatre noticed all to well.... himself.  
  
The figure began to laugh as he replaced his tea cup. He was dressed from head to toe in black, tight fitting clothes, not normal attire at all for the dessert child.  
  
Slowly, the boy rose and made his way over to him, smiling.  
  
"Poor little Quatre, " his voice was that of the one that spoke in mummers before, "always left in the dark, and never told anything. Don't you hate that? To have  
  
you entire family treat you like a child.... although, how can blame them when you look like that,hm?" Finally it struck Quatre that he was no longer in his  
  
16-year-old body, but that of a seven year old.  
  
"What's going on here? What are you talking about?"  
  
"It doesn't surprise me you don't know. This has been a hush hush secret in the family a long time, not to mention what you already know..."  
  
"You're not making any sense. I'm happy here.... this is my family, they would never lie to me..."  
  
The figure stared at him for a moment, blinked, then continued like nothing was said.  
  
".... but more importantly, what you don't know. Let's start with what you do know first.... for example your father and sister...." He snapped his   
  
fingers and they disappeared in a flash. "Dead.... your other sisters...constantly fighting over who has to watch you now, who's going to inherit you fathers  
  
money, because they think you'll die fighting this war and leave everything to them.... but that starts a chain reaction...and soon, they aren't so nice to each   
  
other anymore." With another snap of his fingers, the girls began to vanish, one by one. "You see, they just start taking each other out, until only one is left   
  
to get it all...but who knows what the others had planned for her." With a final snap, his sister whom was sitting next to him, faded out.  
  
Tears had began to stream down Quatre's face," Who are you?! Why are you telling me this?"  
  
"I'm the you that always wanted answers...and now I have them. The real question young Quatre, is do you want them?"  
  
The older version of himself smiled evilly and moved next to their mother's side. He kneeled beside her frozen form and gently stroked a hand across her face.  
  
She was smiling and was happy and he didn't want what ever that thing was making her sad.  
  
"They lied to was Quat," the figure spoke, a tear in his eye, "all this time we always thought that mother was sick, that she died because of a stupid illness."  
  
"She did..." It became hard for him to keep his voice steady.   
  
"No..... she died because of you...your being born killed her...." Bringing his hand down he snapped his fingers making his mother's image vanish.  
  
"Your a liar....." The pit of his stomach had fallen out...it wasn't true, was it? Doubt began to fill the boys head.  
  
"You don't remember because it happened after you were born, maybe hours minutes, who knows. And it's all because of that man!" The figure pointed   
  
down the table at Quatre's father, the only one left beside himself. "He never wanted to hurt you, he thought it would be for your own good. He changed the date on her grave, the records, everything. All so you would never find out that her love to have her own children...."  
  
"Stop it....."  
  
"...instead of having them born from tubes in labs...."  
  
"SHUT UP!"  
  
"...caused her to DIE!"  
  
"SHUT THE HELL UP!"  
  
The figure flew across the table laying on it, right in his face and smiled. "What's the matter?.....The truth hurt to much?.....Wake up! That guy has lied to you  
  
and misguided you your whole life. He doesn't care about you, the only person that obviously did gave their life so that you could have yours! But you took care  
  
of that bastard, didn't you?" Rolling on his back, he clapped his hands and his father faded away.  
  
"So now you have no one.... nothing. No family, no friends..."  
  
"I have friends, they fight beside me..."  
  
"Those boys...Quatre, do honestly think that if this war ends, they're going to send Christmas cards and birthday invitations? They fight beside you to stay alive  
  
themselves....they're using you.....poor thing. You've been so mislead...Good thing I came along and straightened you out,hm?"  
  
"Go away...." Tears streaked down his face as he turned his head to look away.  
  
"But if I leave you'll have no one...."  
  
"From what you've said...I've been alone a long time..."  
  
"Exactly! Well looks like my job is done.....isn't it nice to know the truth?" Laughing, the figure of his older self vanished leaving him in the dark room alone.  
  
It was warm in the room when Quatre came to. Or maybe that was just him. Blinking a few times to focus his eyes, he looked around to see where he was. It was   
  
still raining and they were in some old building. Glancing to his left, he saw Trowa leaning against the wall, sleeping.  
  
"Trowa?" he whispered. For all he knew they had been captured, and were awaiting a trail of some sort. Slowly, Trowa opened his eyes.  
  
"Quatre...take it slow. How are you feeling?" He placed a strong hand on his pale friends head. "You have a fever...."  
  
"I can't feel my arm...I don't feel good...." He turned his head away.  
  
"Are you sure that's all...Did you have a bad dream?"  
  
At first, Quatre thought the dream over and over again in his head trying to make sense of it. He then turned back to look at Trowa, ready to speak his mind.  
  
"Do you care about me...Would you ever.... leave and not say good-bye?"  
  
"Quatre.... why would you ask me that...What happened?"  
  
"I was alone...this person.... told me that my family had been lying to me all this time about everything that had happened.... about my mother's death.... and you all  
  
just leaving if....when the war ends...." Embarrassed, he took a deep breath and stared. And then something happened he didn't expect. Trowa leaned in and kissed   
  
his brow softly. It was surprising without a doubt but comforting in a way.  
  
"I could never leave you Quatre...I love you. The others wouldn't just abandon you either...you know that. Don't listen to some voice in your head, listen to me.  
  
You need to sleep and get better, then we can get some answers if that's what you really want.....now. Do you need me to get you anything?" His smile was warm  
  
and calming. But it always was just what he needed.....  
  
"Thank you Trowa.....are you all right?" He had just noticed that the boy in front of him was quiet pale and looked worn out.  
  
"Yeah.... I'll be fine. Just get some rest..." Kissing his head, he sat back against the wall and stared at Quatre. You were having nightmares too? He hadn't told   
  
Quatre, but had had a nightmare of his own....  
  
))' 


	3. chapter three

This is Chapter three of this story....thanks to those of you that wrote to tell me what you think....but there are so few.....hopefully more will come.  
  
Anyways, if your smart little readers, you'll catch onto who the real bad guy is in this story quickly....One of my friends did and I was shocked! I thought   
  
I hid it so well....Anyways, please tell me what you think! Thanks Duo23 for reading and being scared. Nothing to be scared of though....I be nice....  
  
maybe.....  
  
I don't own Gundam Wing...only the dreams I have about me and Quatre in bed.....dreaming  
  
Some Yaoi may come up later between characters, still haven't decided.....Enjoy and please R&R!  
  
Chapter Three  
  
"And now for your veiwing pleasure our own dynamic duo, Catherine and Trowa Bloom!" The spot light hit his face and for once sense he started this job,  
  
he felt nervous. He looked around the circus, people yelling and cheering for them.   
  
"Come on Trowa! They waiting for us!" Catherine smiled at him and pulled him out into the middle. Shaking his head and regained his composure. Taking his place   
  
on the chopping block as her called it, he put his back to it and waited for her to begin throwing her daggers. But she didn't. She just stood there.  
  
"Cat....you all right?" He whispered to her as the crowd began to boo. "Start throwing." And then, he had to blink. No longer was Catherine standing infront of him.  
  
Looking around, he soon noticed that he was no longer where he once was either. Instead he held the daggers in hand, and Catherine had been tied to the chopping  
  
block. "What's going on?"  
  
He tried to run to her side, but was frozen to his spot. The crowd around him became restless, until a hand was raised by a formiluar face....himself. He was   
  
dressed as the ring leader and smiled at the crowd as they became silent. Mummering began as he made his way over to Trowa who was still unable to move his   
  
body.  
  
"Well what are you waiting for?....The people want a show...sorry, I changed the act a little." He walked behind him and without warning, 03's arm shot a dagger at  
  
Catherine. The blade scraped her face, blood dripping down it. Trowa was horrified, but the crowd only cheered loudly, wanting more. It was disgusting....how could?  
  
Again his arm came up, though he tried with all his might to lower it.  
  
"What are you doing to me?" He winced as he postioned to once again launch a blade at his adoptive sister.  
  
"I'm not doing anything...your doing your job..you are a mercanary after all....This is just another casuality of war. What's the matter? Can't except your mission, Barton?  
  
Or should I say Bloom? That is what your going by when your around her....Is she special to you?" His twin walked over to Catherines unconscience form and lifted  
  
her chin. He examined her, and Trowa wanted nothing more then to regain control and murder him.  
  
"I see nothing special about this girl.....just looks like another person that will hurt you. I mean she lied to you, when all your memories were lost. But that was  
  
his fault was it not?" Suddenly a spot light lit up the tightrope platform, and there stood Quatre, blind folded. His heart dropped in his stomach.  
  
"That wasn't Quatre's fault....it was the Zero system....let them go...."  
  
"You can't always hide behind things.....he snapped, it was the wars fault, he's really a good guy....but how do you know? I t seems to me that Mr. Winner up there  
  
is a rich boy that is doing this for his own selfish reasons. And then he "lost it?" And who does he attack? Why the ones he was suppose to be saving. How good a   
  
comrade could he possibly be?"  
  
"Don't say that about him," Trowa hissed. A rage was burning in his light green eyes, that made his foe all to happy.  
  
"You love him don't you....?"  
  
To this, Trowa only turned his head away.  
  
"Oh....so that's how it is....well in that case..." The figure walked beneithe the tightrope and undid the net that would catch him, should Quatre fall. Smiling, his   
  
other self turned to the silent audience and made his anoucement.  
  
"AND NOW! What you've all been waiting for! Drum roll please!" The drums began to rumble as he backed away and took his spot next to Trowa. "This is my favorite  
  
part of the show!" Almost magically popcorn appeared and he began his feast.  
  
"What's going on?" Trowa began to feel sick and his arm getting tired from holding it so long.  
  
"He's going to jump...."  
  
"NO! Why?! He'll die if he jumps with out the net!"  
  
"Well he won't jump if he doesn't feel guilty...but he more then likely does. Don't feel bad it's his own choice really." The drums came to their climax and as the cymbal  
  
crashed, Quatre stepped off the platform and plumitated to the ground below, the spotlight following and going out just before he hit. In the darkness there was a  
  
thud and after a moment the crowd went wild.  
  
"Thank you! Thank you! There is much more to see folks so stick around..." The boy bowed to the crowd and waved as Trowa kept his gave beneithe the tightrope.  
  
Did that really just happen?....was Quatre.....?  
  
"YOU BASTARD! What did you do?!"  
  
"Really Trowa, there are small children in the audience, watch yourself...."  
  
Looking around the circus, the other him forwned. "It's to dark in here....you can't see anything...." With a clap of his hands, the lights came up and soon Trowa's worse  
  
fears were realized....all the audience members, were from Oz. They had afmily with them and friends, but most were soilders, underlings.  
  
"You wouldn't know most of them....some you've met...others you've killed in battle....there's alot aren't there?"  
  
It was true. The room was almost filled to its maximum capcity. He had really taken this many lives?......No...It was just another lie....this couldn't be true.  
  
"It's almost time for the big finish. How's your arm feeling?" He had almost forgotten it was frozen in place ready to throw.  
  
"My work is done I think....you realize what a waste those boys are to your cause....they made you what you are....a murderer. And they pulled you back into it after  
  
you forgot that way of life. What kind of friends do that? Now finish your show....and think about what I've told you...." Walking past him, the boy threw the top hat  
  
he wore to the ground. As it fell, Trowa's arm flinched back to life and threw the dagger across the room. Like butter, it slid into Catherines chest. She gasped slightly,  
  
before falling to the ground. Horrified, Trowa screamed....  
  
It could have been the dream that woke him...or perhaps it was Quatre calling out to him. Slowly he opened his eyes and saw his best friend looking around worriedly.  
  
A brush of relief filled him....it had only been a dream. But it left doubt in his mind, and he didn't like that. What if the voice was right...maybe it would have   
  
been better to hind in the shadows of this war...he should have never remembered, but watching Quatre, talking with him made him remember why he had in the first  
  
place. Slowly he bent down and kissed the boy.  
  
"Trowa?"  
  
"You need to rest....we can atlk about it more later." Putting on a smile for the boy he leaned back and closed his eyes. He was scared to fall asleep again. What if  
  
the nightmare returned? Just then a horried scream filled the air. Jumping up, Trowa ran down the stairs to where the others had taken refuge. Wasn't he surprised to  
  
not find Duo up awake and shaking, but Heero. The boy was pale and shaking, very disturbed and lost.  
  
The nightmares ahd found him too.....  
  
))' 


	4. Chapter Four

I'm glad that you all like what I have so far....just so you know...I'm not some miracle person that magically over night can pull  
  
fanfictions out of her butt. I wrote a good 90% of these and just didn't have the time...nay......the good sense to get off my lazy bum  
  
and type them. Also, I just recently got the internet and new at this. I like to shout out to my friends.....Sarah, Kerry.....you guys are   
  
madly typing behind the scenes. Thanks for helping me post! So with out further a due.....and the fact that I can't spell and this program  
  
lacks a spell check....the newest chapter of What Haunts Me Most....  
  
I do not own Gundam Wing.......but Quatre was my love slave last night.....It was a good dream...sigh  
  
Chapter Four  
  
Running.....all he did was run. The sun brushed against his face as he ran past people in the busy part of town. Quickly, he came upon the edge  
  
of the faster, until suddenly he tripped. Head over heals he went flying down the hill, until finally he landed. The fake sky above shone   
  
upon him, digital clouds floating by. He had done it....everything was going to work perfectly. His breath was caught in his chest as he lay there, thinking.  
  
And then he did something he hadn't done in who knows how long....  
  
He laughed.  
  
And it wouldn't stop. It echoed through the field around him. He lay there, laughing and couldn't stop. What had he done that had caused him  
  
so much pleasure? What could possibly make the sternest, and most uptight boy laugh with such care free joy? This feeling was new to him and deep  
  
down he didn't want it to end.  
  
"Are you all right?" Sitting up quickly, he realized he was no longer alone. A small girl sat beside him, smiling and holding back her new puppy. He   
  
stared at them both, wondering....had he said anything aloud in that care free moment? Would he have to....?  
  
"We saw you fall down the hill...you aren't hurt are you?" She was so caring, so young and innocent. He stared at her and answered quickly.  
  
"I'm fine...."  
  
"I'm not...." Smiling still, a bead of blood trickled down her face. Heero watched as soon, numerous cuts and bruises graced her skin. "What's  
  
wrong?" He began to show worry as the girl stood and still smiling, reached out her hand for his.  
  
"Come with me Heero...."  
  
He didn't know what to do....she was hurt and needed to be treated, but for some reason....deep down inside, he feared that it was to late to help her.  
  
Hesitant at first, he took her hand and began to walk with her. As they left, he saw that the dog did not move from its spot on the ground.  
  
"Your dog...."  
  
"That's not important right now....we have to get going or we'll miss the show!" Laughing, she tugged him away. They marched through the field back the way   
  
he had rolled down not to long before. He watched as the sky above went from the beautiful blue to a dark pitch black. It was becoming night....something was  
  
happening....  
  
"Won't your parents worry that your not at home?" He turned once again to the small child that held his hand. Abruptly, she stopped. It was a moment   
  
before she answered him.  
  
"My mommy and Daddy are dead...." Again she turned to him with what should have been a look of sadness, but instead...once more a smile. She reminded   
  
him of someone...someone he knew. That was happy, no matter what the situation. Not matter how much trouble she appeared to be in...but he couldn't   
  
rememebr who....Tugging at his sleeve, she looked to him.  
  
"We'll be late if we don't go now...." PUlling on his arm, she brought him farther away from that field which  
  
had brought him great joy. Finally, he asked her what had been plaguing his mind....  
  
"Where are we going?"  
  
"I have to show you something....It's going to be a blast!" Stopping, he stood memories flashing back to him. The field,  
  
the girl, this place....she was going to die.  
  
"NO!...Stop!" But as he reached to grab the girls arm, flames consumed her body. He pulled back, falling, watch as   
  
small body danced in the fire that turned her to ash. She laughed as her body became nothing and soon, she was gone.  
  
Heero sat there, watching as the fire tore through the complex, taking evrything it touched with it. He could only  
  
sit there as he had before. What had he done?   
  
A hand from the darkness touched his shoulder, making him jump away in fright. How surprised he was, to see the God  
  
of Death staring blankly back at him. It couldn't be...he wasn't there the first time...was he?  
  
"Oye, Heero? What are you doing?" The fire was gone, they were just laying in the field. It had been a dream, the  
  
whole thing had been nothing but a dream. Sitting up, he looked around, trying to make sense of things. Duo, sighed   
  
and stood, watching him. "You really need to sleep more or something...you were just talking in your sleep..."  
  
"What?...." He couldn't believe how real that had all been. Sighing he sat up and looked around. It had all been a  
  
bad dream, nothing more. Once more, he stared to the fake sky once more.   
  
"What do you say we get out of here and meet up with the others. It's been awhile sense we landed someplace neutral.  
  
It might be good for you to go someplace and just hang..."  
  
"I don't 'hang' Maxwell.....you know that."  
  
"I think I know you better then the others.....we are friends after all..." Smiling that classic Maxwell smile and   
  
reached out a hand to help him up. Had he really just refered to them as friends? He looked at the Americans hand  
  
and sighed, smiling slightly. Yeah, they were friends...Duo was his first friend. Looking to him, he reached his hand  
  
out to be taken. Suddenly, the registering of a gun echoed thorugh the field. Everything happened to fast for Yuy to  
  
react. The shinny barrel pressed against Duo's temple and with a fluent motion fired into his head. The bullet pierced   
  
straight through his head like butter, coming quickly out the other side. Blood painted the ground as he landed on his side,  
  
his expression shocked. Heero could feel his friend warm blood turning cold on his face. There was no hope for   
  
him...blood everywhere....Duo Maxwell was dead.  
  
Heero swallowed hard and tried to make sense of things....he was fine...just two seconds ago, everything was fine...  
  
Looking up, he watched as Doctor J cleaned off the barrrel of the gun and put it away. He stared at Heero with   
  
great contempt.  
  
"I will not finish your dirty work again Yuy...You should have killed the foolish boy when you had the chance.   
  
We don't except neglect of orders lightly.....I hope this is a lesson to you..." Slowly he began to walk away.  
  
"WHY?! What did he do?? He worked beside us! He fought for the same cause! Why did he have to die? I don't  
  
understand...." Why was he saying all this? What was wrong with him?! These emotions were getting the better of  
  
him....had they always been there?  
  
Doctor J turned to him and frowned. "You dare question orders? Did you learn nothing during your training? I  
  
suppose some more time in the room will make you come to your senses...." Reaching inside his lab coat, he retrieved  
  
a small remote control and pressed the button on it. The ground around him began to shake, and then without warning,  
  
a door dropped under him. He fell for what seemed like hours until finally coming to a halt against the concreet floor.  
  
It took him a moment to regain his composure, but soon he was on his feet. Looking around now, he saw....nothing.  
  
The room he had landed in was completely white. No doors, no windows, very very bright and lonely. His clothes  
  
had changed as well. He no longer wore his spandex and wife beater but a button up white shirt and long white  
  
pants. Sweat beading down his face as he tried to find a way of escape, but none was in sight. Turning around he   
  
soon came face to face with the little girl....  
  
"Are you all right?"  
  
"Why do you keep asking me that everytime we meet?"  
  
"We saw you fall down the hill and came to make sure everything was okay....was he your friend?"  
  
"What?" And then he remembered Duo..."Yes...he was..."  
  
Slowly she walked up to him. Getting on her tip toes, she cupped his face with her hands and examined his eyes. He  
  
didn't try to get away, something was keeping him there, unable to move.  
  
"You have good eyes...." Smiling, she took her hands away and skipped back to her puppy, "....but they won't save you  
  
from what haunts you....you've seen to much....you've caused to much trouble and for that...it's best you stay in   
  
here." Slowly her form began to fade...."This is your biggest fear after all....being alone....having nothing..."  
  
"Wait! I have questions!"  
  
"But I have no answers....only you can face your own demons Heero Yuy....deal with your past...at least here, you  
  
can be safe from the world...." And then she was gone and the whispers started. They were soft at first...  
  
"He always keeps to himself..."  
  
"I swear, Yuy, your gonna die someday if your not careful..."  
  
"If you want to committ suicide fine..but don't do it on my watch pal..."  
  
He looked around endlessly as the voices got louder...where were they coming from?  
  
"HEERO!"  
  
"Heero wait! They aren't OZ it's...."  
  
"Oz tricked us....into killing Field Marshall Noventa...."  
  
"...I guess if someone has to do it....I'm glad it's you...your really gonna shoot me, aren't ya?"  
  
'Stop it....stop talking....to me....' He tried to cover his ears, but it only made to voices louder...  
  
"...you died a long time ago...."  
  
"Just do as your heart tells you..."  
  
"PLEASE! KIll ME!! THEN YOU CAN GO AND SAVE TROWA!"  
  
"Heero! I'm right here, so come and KILL ME!"  
  
'NO!'  
  
Cold sweat dripped down his face as he raced back to reality. The room was dark and cold, he was back in the warehouse.  
  
Nothing was focused as he scanned the room for threats....and that girl. His body was shaking and his nerves were shot.  
  
What did all that mean? He couldn't make sense of it.  
  
Trowa came bounding down the stairs towards him, skipping steps as he went.  
  
"Heero? What happened?" He knelt beside the frightened boy and tried to comfort him, but it seemed none could  
  
be given. Slowly, he came back to reality and looked to the Heavyarms pilot. He could tell by the expression on  
  
jis face that he too was having trouble sleeping.  
  
"Dream......" He finally managed to utter. Trowa drew back with surprise.  
  
"You too?"  
  
"What do you mean?" There seemed to be some connection in their troubles that evening. He was about to ask more when   
  
suddenly they heard a soft moan next to them. Both turned to see tears flowing down Duo's face.   
  
"He's still sleeping....." Trowa brushed them aside and placed a hand on the boys head. "He still has a fever....this  
  
is bad....I want to wake him, but would it be for the best?"  
  
"No...." Trowa glanced over, confused by Heero's returning harshness.  
  
"These are Maxwell's demons....he has to face them on his own...."  
  
))"  
  
There it is! Chapter four! My internet has been down the past couple of days...sorry this took so long to get   
  
up. Hope you all enjoyed this one....I had to pull out the DVD's and research on this one...for the voices in  
  
Heero's head and other little scenes and character reactions. Chapter five will be up soon...I have recover from  
  
freaking myself out writing this one....and now I have to write Duo's....if anybody has any suggestions, please  
  
R&R and tell me what you want to see. I love hearing from you guys! Thanks for reading and I'll update soon 


	5. Chapter five

Sorry this is taking so long....but Duo's chapter is hard to write...i wasn't sure what to put or  
  
anything...please forgive me!!!!bowing lots....on that note..I'm glad you guys like it..anf thanks  
  
to those of you that review...it makes me feel loved....here we go...my sad attempt at Duo's dream....  
  
please don't hurt me-.-#  
  
I do not own Gundam Wing....but Quatre is a whole nother story.....  
  
Duo had had this dream before....fire everywhere, bodies lined at his feet...people screaming, guns   
  
firering....he had seen this all before. He walked forward, searching through the rubble and death.  
  
And it was always the same, he didn't know what it was he seeked. Was it a person? A certain   
  
memory from his past?....He wasn't sure...all he knew was that in this dream all he ever did was walk  
  
and so he would again...but this time, the dream changed.  
  
The road infront of him ended at a cliff, one that looked down at a large trench. Men dressed in Oz   
  
uniforms worked hastily to bury the bodies of fallen soilders. He stood there, not able to move,  
  
knowing that if they saw him, he would die. And soon one of the soilders moved away and a body came to   
  
his attention...it was Heero Yuy. The boys pale form stared up at the sky, which was begining to shine  
  
with stars...but he didn't see them. Blood trickled down his head, bullet holes filled his chest. Duo  
  
could do nothing but stand there shocked. This never happened before...  
  
"Keep digging.....we need to burn these bodies before Zech's and Trieze get here." The ring leader of the  
  
group yelled to his men. Quickly they finished digging and began to move bodies into the hole. Yuy wasn't  
  
the only one there....  
  
Heero was thrown in, soon followed by Trowa. He too had been filled with bullets, his shirt gone, slash   
  
marks across his chest. He had been bled to death, it made Duo want to puke...but he still could show no  
  
emotion. Not until he saw who came next.  
  
Quatre's small body was tossed like a teddy bear into the heep. His skin was whiter then he had ever seen it,  
  
a shocked expression frozen on his face. But Duo couldn't see what had happened, till gravity took action and  
  
he feel over, revealing the other side of his skull missing. Duo brought his hand to his mouth and held his   
  
stomach in....  
  
"Quat...." he whimpered. "...Trowa...Heero....what happened?" And then he saw Wufei...still alive at the   
  
moment. A guard pushed his battered body forward and one of the officers held a gun to his head.   
  
"You can see what happened to your friends....now for the last time Chang Wufei...tell us where the   
  
Professors are or you'll join them in hell..." He registered the gun and held it to the boys temple.  
  
"Just tell them Wufei...please...." Duo muttered to himself as he watched Wufei smirk at the officer.  
  
"I guess....then....I'll see you in hell..." He smiled as he told the man nothing. Loosing his patients, he  
  
pulled the trigger of the gun. The sound echoed through the field, Wufei's body falling into the pit with the   
  
others. It was then that Duo fell to his knees defeated...he was the only one left...all of them, the only  
  
people that understood him....gone....Holding back tears he looked up again, his eyes going blank.  
  
The men broke through the crowd with one last body, four of them carrying the limp form.  
  
"We found him in the woods a few moments ago...we thought the men had missed him..."  
  
The four tossed the body on the top of the heep and walked away to get the gasoline and matches. There was   
  
no mistaking who that was.....blood soaked the black shirt on his body, his hair undone and messy...eyes   
  
blank and filled with tears....  
  
It was him.  
  
Duo didn't know what to think anymore....he was dead..at least that's what it looked like...had they died in  
  
the woods? Was this how it all ended? The bad guys won?! He backed away from the scene mortified and ran into  
  
something. Looking up he saw.....Heero?  
  
"I thought....you were...."  
  
"Dead?....that isn't real Duo...how many dreams have you had before?" Sighing, he walked to the edge of the cliff  
  
and watched as they began to burn their bodies. "But it could happen someday...it's only a matter of time  
  
really...."  
  
Duo stared long and hard at the person infront of him...he seemed so relax and not so complex as before....he  
  
almost seemed sad about what was happening, but at the same time found pleasure...  
  
"You not Heero, are you?"  
  
The boy said nothing as he watched. He just stood there for awhile, the only sound was of that of the Oz soldiers  
  
cheering and laughing. And then he heard it....the boy infront of him spoke...  
  
"Why do you fight Duo? Who do you fight for? Is it worth it in the end?"  
  
Duo could say nothing..he just watched him for awhile. And then the words came to him....  
  
"I fight because I don't want others to have to....I fight because...people I love died believing this war  
  
would end someday...and I'm gonna be the one that ends it....is it worth it?.....I really don't know but I   
  
know that some day people will look back on this and realize how many men women and children....how many   
  
innocent children lost there lives to make it so....so yeah...it's worth it...."  
  
To this, the Heero figure had nothing to say. He just smiled and hugged Duo. And to this Duo could do  
  
nothing but hug him back....  
  
"You know don't you? What I really am...."  
  
"Why are you hurting them?.....What did they do to you?"  
  
"I was searching for my own answers to fight for....and they had none to give....but you did...thank you.  
  
I realize now why I'm fighting this war....and that my time is going to be short...but what I do in that time  
  
will change the future.....thank you Duo...." The figure began to fade away...and Duo could do nothing as  
  
finally he was gone, the world around Duo was the road he always traveled alone...bodies everywhere,   
  
reckage scattered...but this time the dream ended differently....he found what he was looking for....  
  
"Maxwell! Can you hear me?...Wake up....."  
  
Heero called to Duo as his eyes opened and stared around....the rain still came down outside. His vision was   
  
blurry, his back killing him...but he was alive and so were the others.  
  
"Bad dream?" Asked Trowa who was kneeling over him worried.  
  
"Zero...." he whispered.  
  
Both Trowa and Heero looked at each other. They weren't sure what he meant.  
  
"Zero what?" Heero asked checking his friends wounds.  
  
"Zero System.....came into my dreams....looking for his purpose....."  
  
Lightning crashed outside as the truth hit them all.....  
  
))'  
  
Sorry this must really stink....i don't blame you guys if you bash me!....Please R&R and tell me how much   
  
it sucks!....only one or two chapters left...update soon....I hope.... 


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